Sunday, December 11

J-Rap R0X0RZ my S0X0RZ!! shift 1!!!

I'm listening to J-Rap..and the title says the rest! It's awesome! It's from the anime Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad....or just Beck!
Anyway, I have finals this week. I don't want to take them. Wanna take them for me? I didn't think so. PUNK!
Edward Elric is my hero! He's da bestest! I wanna be just like him if I grow up, but that doesn't really even matter because Ed isn't even grown up yet. HAHAHA! I am in the winning circle as a balloon! RANDOM BANTER!
I"m so pissed off because my internet in my room isn't working. And this connection is pretty slow so I cant' see what I"m typing. It cant' keep up with my MAD SKILLZ! So if I screw up I'm not fixing it and I'm sorry. Live with most of it. I'll probably fix some of it because I'm a little OCD about my posts. Spelling and Grammar!
I'm wearing my hair like Ed right now. W007!
The stupid MA153 site isn't working right now, so I cant' get the freakin' review problems. I figure I'll try again tomorrow. God, I love music. Anyway, that means that I can't review for my final in math. That pisses me off beyond no end.
I've been having these thoughts lately. They're mostly about my future. About how I don't want what I seem deserve. How no person really whants what he/she seems to desreve. How you get such good things, and then you don't want them when you have them. I don't know. Maybe they're more about how I lack trust in anyone. Maybe they're more about how I don't want anything anymore, other than to be alone. Things are just easier that way. Everything else just gets in the way. Just complicates things, just clouds things. I couldn't even enjoy my shower. I was thinking so hard, so much. It was an hour long, and the whole time I was tormenting myself with such strange thoughts of living in my own world. It would be blue. There would be a table and a chair. There would be a book. The book would be empty. And there would be a lamp that I made in 8th greade sitting on the table for me to read and write by. And there would be me. Just me. No one else. Just me and the blue.
I confuse myself so much, and I don't like to think about how much I probably confuse other people. But, I guess that's why I'm so hard to get a hold of most of the time. I don't want to talk. I just want to be in my blue.
I also thought a lot about how I used to have aJesus complex. I don't really have much of one anymore, I don't think, but I wish I could get back to how I used to study when Mom was still alive. I used to work so hard. And sometimes I really miss that. I figure I can try again next semester. At least, that's what I'm hoping for.



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